Tag Archives: texts

Best Friend Boundaries – What Even Is That?

Poor Bestie. This one happened this week. Autocorrect? Or maybe just me skipping words. Who knows. Either way.

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He’s lucky. Being my best friend comes with the perk of saying: what the actual fuck is she saying? at least once a day. If not more.

And now I can make “poop” an official tag on my blog. Great My parents – they’re so proud.

I’ll Take An Ariana Frap and a Shaq Latte

Co-worker (herein referred to as Foxy) text me to say she’d be at my site shortly and would I and/or BossLady like something from Starbucks.

I usually say no. Today, not so much. Instead, this happened.


When she dropped it off she said, “When I ordered it that way, there was dead silence on the other end of the intercom. And then so much laughter.”

You’re welcome, world. I showed up today.


So, this morning I resigned from my job. It went better than anticipated. I suppose it helps when it feels like your Bosshole, if able, would do backflips when you told him. Boss’ boss was sad and not at all mean, which helps, too. The best part of it all is the responses from the people around me. My day, at work, has been filled with fist bumps and high fives. People are happy for me. My friends and family are even better.

Here are a few responses from an email to a group of friends:


And then there’s this one, from my group chat with SnarkSibling and SnarkyMom. I love that my mother had to tell me she and my dead father are proud of me. And that she had to use all caps to express her joy.

And then we have jokes for days Jester, who thinks he’s hilarious. Okay, fine. He is.


Fellow co-worker, affectionately (or actually annoyingly) called “work boyfriend” by fellow coworkers sent me this one:


And then the ever present and wonderful Bestie. image

I have been sad to say goodbye to sharing an office with New Girl, Seamstress, and Blondie. They are the perk that makes coming to work enjoyable. But don’t worry, New Girl left me with another little nugget of wisdom.

NG: I’m sad to see you go.
Me: Me too!
NG: We will have to stay in touch.
Me: Definitely, I will miss–
NG: That way you can hire me at your new place if you really like it, because it sounds like my dream job.
Me: Right. Yes.

You know you’re making a good decision when your friends, family, and co-workers are happy for you. And when your Bosshole doesn’t even blink an eye when you tell him. He had silent joy though. Trust me. Heh.

“BRB, Going to China.” – The Cat

I am lucky enough to have some great (and hilarious) people in my life. When situations arose that meant I needed to leave my house for awhile, I called my best friend. Who immediately came in and took care of my house and my animals. What can I say – I am a lucky (and snarky) girl. Things haven’t gotten exactly better, but they have become different. The end of the story is that I had to permanently relocate. El Dog and La Cat were still at the house with the best friend. Who was awesome enough he would take, honor, and cherish El Dog but he couldn’t take La Cat with him and I couldn’t rehome El Dog with me, since he basically tries to rip the throats out of the other animals at my home.

It’s a sad story, right? I know. But he loves my best friend. My best friend loves him. And it’s for the best. For everyone. Doesn’t mean I miss him less. Nor does it mean that Bestie (He’s going to love that that’s his nickname) doesn’t miss La Cat, either. He lived with her for years. And even though she’s terrible and mean and slightly disfigured (okay, she isn’t) we both love her. This means the last few weeks, as the animals get readjusted to their new digs that we have sent a lot of texts back and forth about them. Here is just a glimpse from last night.

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Jokes For Days.

Jester and Snark Sibling are lucky enough to be a part of a group message with me. Or unlucky. Either way, earlier this evening I accidentally sent a request for a picture of banana bread to SS that went to the group chat. SS inquired about the recipe this afternoon and I need a good picture for my food blog.

I may just use Jester’s pictures. Especially since he made a special batch of banana bread just for Snark Sibling who eats wheat free.


He says he has jokes for days. I think they’re just day old jokes. Okay, fine. He’s funny.

Funny Mummy.

My mother. She’s hilarious. Also, she can’t learn to not text my work phone. Hopefully, when I change jobs – she remembers. Or whoever gets my work number when I leave will get a vast amount of hilarious and out of context pictures.

She sent me and one of my aunts this picture this morning:


And then followed it up with this:


In case anyone is wondering (I knew you were) I was shoveling my grandma’s driveway yesterday and hit a chunk of ice. I am now pretty crippled and it’s hilarious to watch. So I’m sure she just wants to know if I will be at her house tonight making her laugh as I try to put on my shoes.

Texts From Today

I used to work with my friend. She wasn’t my friend until she worked there. Then we realized we were both snarky bitches and couldn’t live without each other. She had a party scheduled for Sunday but apparently had to cancel them, according to our lively chat this afternoon.




She’s not so much a super secret agent as she is a postal employee. But you have to use what pull you have, right? She’s all I got.