So, the other day I was driving to work and discussing Aquaman with Jester. Over the weekend I had sent him the image of Aquaman released recently. For those of you who haven’t seen it:
Needless to say – I am disappointed. As a long time nerd (yeah I know, you’re shocked. So is everyone else.) and avid comic and cartoon lover since I was a chil — What is this shit? He’s been the lukewarm superhero for years. The butt of all the jokes. You can’t take that from me. That’s my favorite part of him. This guy looks like a badass. And he’s attractive. Where do I file my letter of complaint? You can’t take my beloved joke and turn it into something good.
Luckily, for his own benefit, Jester agrees with me and knows that this is unacceptable. Which means when I got to work that day my phone started going crazy. I’ll transcribe here for you.
(Jester’s comments in italics. Mine in plain print. Please note: He was sending them so rapid fire that there wasn’t a chance for me to respond usually. I think he secretly had a stash of Aquaman pictures on his phone.)
Representing the gay community in comics….the start of the ambiguously gay duo.
Using his sonar to look for fish dicks.
HAHAHA. And THIS. THIS IS WHY THE NEW AQUAMAN CAN NOT BE A BADASS. This is my favorite part of him.
Don’t know if he’s planking (under the sea) or getting ready to double fist some mermaids.
You think he could get two mermaids at once? You’re getting a bit over zealous, aren’t you?
This one is so you can use it as your desktop wallpaper.
And no one said the mermaids were into it.
I thinks he’s mad that they outed him for what he really uses his trident for.
Sit and spin?
Your comment was….
Brokeback Sand Dune
He’s got some bad ass dance moves tho.
I love this one.
Batman had The Joker, Superman had Lex Luther, Aquaman had…
…plastic six-pack rings.
I laughed as much putting this together as I did reading it the first time. I think Jester can stay. …so long as he doesn’t actually purchase me the Aquaman hoodie that he threatened to do so.
Next time anyone wants to Unite The Seven – it better be the seven jokes of Aquaman.