True Friendship

Previously mentioned Work BF has really been on point lately. Here’s just a glimpse of the demented things that prove we shall be friends forever. And some bonus memes that speak to our friendship. 

Now, onto the show. 

Best Friend Boundaries – What Even Is That?

Poor Bestie. This one happened this week. Autocorrect? Or maybe just me skipping words. Who knows. Either way.

He’s lucky. Being my best friend comes with the perk of saying: what the actual fuck is she saying? at least once a day. If not more.

And now I can make “poop” an official tag on my blog. Great My parents – they’re so proud.

Middle School: It’s Not For Everyone.

I was working an event at a middle school awhile ago and ended up having to text Bestie about how marvelous that day turned out for me.

Middle school wasn’t terrible – when I was IN middle school. Now it’s just pure agony.

I’ll Huff and I’ll Puff

I’m going through my work phone, clearing off old pictures and finding some amazing screenshots that I forgot all about. Here’s one from about 5 months ago that made me laugh again. How in the hell can Foxy still like me? At least I threw in a real “concern” about her plight at the end?

Sounds Legit

I am cleaning off my work phone for the inevitable, gtfo moment that will transpire next week when I tell them I found another job.

I dumped all my pictures and found some great screenshot moments I had saved and forgotten. Here’s a gem from SnarkSibling.

Apparently I never responded when my they said my mother called 911 for my father. But most importantly, the succession of texts together? Fantastic.

I’m dying, I need a slurpee. Stat.

We Broke New Girl.

See? We broke her.

Earlier today, Seamstress stumbled along the article about the woman who made yogurt from her vagina. I have seen the headlines around social media, but felt no need to read them.

Seamstress realized what had been seen could not be unseen and started to tell us. She was grossing herself out, gagging as she read bits. I found it humorous, until I was under my desk unplugging something. Suddenly she said “she tasted it. Oh God, she tasted it.” Still laughing, I said “well how did it taste?”

I was kidding people. I did not anticipate she was going to respond with direct quotes that included words like “sour” or “tingly”, nor did I expect I would suddenly heave loudly.

I hear shuffling and a “why would she do that? Oh God, no. Make it stop.” And turned around to see New Girl hiding under her desk.

Someone stuck their head in our office a few minutes later, as I was wiping away the laughter tears to ask us if someone had thrown up in there.

Luckily I left early, which gave me time to send these texts as I sat at the bank.

…..I wonder if she needs a marketing director.

Getting real tired of your shit, Autocorrect.

In the span of two days my autocorrect has made affordable and adorable interchangeable more than once.

“You look afforable.”
“That baby actually looks affordable.”

I never lie if a baby is ugly (and they aren’t all beautiful snowflakes, trust me) so I’m pretty sure it’s more believable that I said to one friend that our other friend’s baby looks affordable instead of adorable. I never even corrected myself. And they didn’t question it.

….I’m not sure what that says about me.
Or my friend.

I have, however, decided that adorable should be stricken from my vocabulary. I will start using aesthetically pleasing instead.

Today, you look aesthetically pleasing.