Previously mentioned Work BF has really been on point lately. Here’s just a glimpse of the demented things that prove we shall be friends forever. And some bonus memes that speak to our friendship.
Poor Bestie. This one happened this week. Autocorrect? Or maybe just me skipping words. Who knows. Either way.
He’s lucky. Being my best friend comes with the perk of saying: what the actual fuck is she saying? at least once a day. If not more.
And now I can make “poop” an official tag on my blog. Great My parents – they’re so proud.
I’m at a funeral. I see this book.
I was hoping I’d open it up and see blank pages or “mommy drinks a lot more” as an answer.
#disappointment as it’s just a book that really tries to explain death and funerals to children in a responsible and on-their-level way.
I still stand by my belief that they should make a smart ass one for people like me.
Please provide your best snarky answer to this book’s question to appease me.
Update: we just left. I am banned from funeral homes according to Bestie* and Alice* due to my spotting the “Losing Your Mom” pamphlet as we exited and loudly exclaiming “what, like at the mall?”
*names changed to protect the not so innocent as they also laughed.
I saw this on Twitter, this evening:
So sweet, right? And rubbish. Because, at my ripe old age, with my busy schedule? I dream of this, instead:
But, as all girls do – I also dream bigger than just that. I long for even more.
Sounds like a good Sunday to me.
I was going to send this and then thought….it’s okay to dream. But you also have to be realistic. Life isn’t always a fairy tale. So I made it more true to life. And, I have to say, I think I nailed it.
Yeah. That’s a good summary. But I still think the sleeping in that late part is a bit far fetched. It’s worse than a Sandra Bullock romcom. Sounds great, but never gonna happen.
This isn’t a surprise to those who know me, but my phone is too full of pictures. I had to delete over 1500 last night to finally get the latest upgrade.
As I slowly go through them, I find some great screenshot pics. I imagine I started saving them to share with all you, but my new job is so amazing I forget to be snarky here.
This one is when Bestie was at his parents’ house and texted me about his father. I know the rest of the conversation was probably amazing. But I didn’t save that. ….of course
I learned two important lessons today: my phone only keeps 20 messages in a group (which means I can’t screen shot this one for you) and that #9 seems to be keeping true to her roots of “wtf” at my old job.
Here’s a rundown of what I saw in my phone on my break at new job.
Seamstress: #9 said if she eats Taco Bell she will be in the bathroom for days.
Me: She’s an oversharer. First day on the job; I love serial killers. First day at new desk; Taco Bell makes me run for the border – of the bathroom.
Seamstress: and she says “this shit is cray cray.”
New Girl: And her friend who just got hired here and #9 say “love you!!!” when they see each other.
Me: Like at the office? In public?
Seamstress: Yes. …and yes.
Good to know nothing has changed in the 24 work hours since I left.
Today is my last day in the office. I start my new gig on Monday. Bosshole waved as he walked out yesterday – goodbye or good luck. Not even a bat of the eye, honestly. There wasn’t much fanfare for someone who worked with me for 13 years. But as a bonus, he did forget something at work and texted me to please bring it to him after my shift ended.
Spoiler alert: I didn’t.
But on to bigger news. I am on my way to being an adult, leaving my job of 13 years and starting a new one.
Know how I know? I just cleaned all my juiceboxes out of the work fridge and shoved them in my bag. Adulthood, here I come.
…but I can bring a juicebox, right?