Tag Archives: autocorrect

Best Friend Boundaries – What Even Is That?

Poor Bestie. This one happened this week. Autocorrect? Or maybe just me skipping words. Who knows. Either way.

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He’s lucky. Being my best friend comes with the perk of saying: what the actual fuck is she saying? at least once a day. If not more.

And now I can make “poop” an official tag on my blog. Great My parents – they’re so proud.

Getting real tired of your shit, Autocorrect.

In the span of two days my autocorrect has made affordable and adorable interchangeable more than once.

“You look afforable.”
“That baby actually looks affordable.”

I never lie if a baby is ugly (and they aren’t all beautiful snowflakes, trust me) so I’m pretty sure it’s more believable that I said to one friend that our other friend’s baby looks affordable instead of adorable. I never even corrected myself. And they didn’t question it.

….I’m not sure what that says about me.
Or my friend.

I have, however, decided that adorable should be stricken from my vocabulary. I will start using aesthetically pleasing instead.

Today, you look aesthetically pleasing.

Autocorrect Is A Ducking Butch Sometimes

Autocorrect has failed me a few times today. The first is when I texted an off site manager for another location asking him a question and then inquiring about his hours. Or his hoes. Either way.

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Editor’s note: I used to work on site with this one. My mother once pointed out how he thinks he is God’s gift to women. The name Lance Romance started then (she started it) and has stuck ever since.

The next is when Bosshole did another interview  (oh yeah, Stretch is no longer with us) and Seamstress texted me to do a walk by.

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We shall simply refer to her as Unknown still. But if she gets hired she may transition into Butch. Thanks, Autocorrect.

Rejuicing, it’s good for the soul.

Text to friend: Bosshole is going to be gone for the rest of the day. THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY. LET US REJUICE IN THIS MOMENT AND BE JOYFUL.

Yes, folks. Rejuice. It’s good for the soul. And God saw that it was good for my boss to not be breathing down my neck. AND SO IT SHALL BE.

And why does my phone “know” the word rejuice? Am I doing something in my sleep I should know about?